I kept thinking to myself going into Yakima skyline that “this might be the one that breaks me.” And I realized when the moment came to “be broken” – I realized that I had a choice. For some reason I thought it was something that was going to “happen to me.” And maybe in some cases – you can degrade slowly over time and that results in being broken, but I think that’s the rare case.
I think more often what happens is that the question arises, “do you want to be broken?” And you can choose. Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right!
When trying to describe a long race – I always come back to the metaphor or being “cored out” from the inside. You start with fresh legs and a glycogen packed liver… and the miles and time slowly start to take layers of you from the inside – and when you’re done all that’s left is a shell – just a container. But wow it’s the most pure you that exists! One thing I’ve noticed is that the whites of my eyes are the most clear white after I’ve been cored.
About 12 miles in. Can’t stop to put the poles away. Crashed hard into the 15.5 mile turnaround.